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You’re Wrong About Mariners Fans
An hour after you told yourself you’d go to the gym, you slouch chin-to-chest in the recesses of a couch that, pray to Jesus, never sees the glow of a blacklight. Fully ensconced in the bowels of an...
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Karate Emergency Ep. 28: Vacate This
https://seattlesportsnet.files.wordpress.com/2016/05/ke-28-or-something.mp3 We’re in mourning over the death of Sonics Arena this week, at the hands of the evil Seattle City Council. In the aftermath...
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Thank You, Ken
I will start with my family. Ken Griffey, Jr. has no idea what he has done for my family, so let’s begin there. We love baseball, my family. When I was little, my dad would take us to games at the...
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Go For It, Jerry
Sports fans are inherently selfish. If it was up to us, rebuilding years wouldn’t exist and every single season would involve a championship pursuit. Money would be no object, and like monopolizing...
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Beware the Unstoppable Force
In beach towns the world around, towering wooden posts affixed with oversized speakers dot the coastal landscape. Blending in beneath the mercurial skies that quickly shuttle across their seaboards,...
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Usher Silences Fans As Mariners Silence Brewers
It’s rare for the Seattle Mariners to find themselves in a playoff race, but here we are nearing the end of August and the M’s are in the thick of the postseason hunt. What should be cause for...
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The Mariners’ Gameday Etiquette Dilemma
It has been fifteen years since the Mariners were really, really good, so forgive us for not knowing how to act in the wake of the team’s recent success. On Saturday night, as the M’s were on the...
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Hot Mic Catches Mariners Broadcaster Speaking the Truth
It’s not often during a ballgame you hear a broadcaster say exactly what every fan happens to be thinking. Lucky for us, a hot microphone and an abrupt return from commercial break caught Mariners...
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The Seattle Mariners All-Headshot 40th Anniversary Team
The Seattle Mariners are celebrating their 40th anniversary this year and are honoring some of the greatest players in franchise history as a result. To keep things interesting, the M’s are requesting...
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2017 Seattle Mariners Preview: Felix Forgets 30
It was a year to forget for Felix Hernandez. The regression he endured in 2016 was so abrupt and so sudden that even casual onlookers couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at his performance. The...
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Mariners Memories
I remember being four or five years old and dragging my dad into our front yard to teach me how to do a leg kick like a big league pitcher. Like Mark Langston and Mike Moore, two of Seattle’s very...
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The Addicts
They slowly wither away in dark rooms illuminated only by the iridescence of a television set, mainlining ROOT Sports coverage of Seattle Mariners baseball like heroin junkies slumped upon the dusty...
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Mariners Fans Don’t Deserve This – But the Franchise Does
Mariners fans know aggravation. With every ill-advised decision their favorite baseball team makes, the frustration boils and festers until it can’t simmer any longer. It’s the kind of maddening anger...
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A Precursor to Greatness
One of my very first sports memories is the very first no-hitter in Seattle Mariners history. June 2nd, 1990. Randy Johnson, against the Detroit Tigers. I was five years old and quite possibly the...
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Clear the F*** Out: The Mariners Are Here
If it was a person, it would have a driver’s license. It’d be wrapping up eleventh grade, might have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, may have just gone to prom. It’d be concerned about little more than...
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